Today Todd and I celebrate EIGHT years of marriage! We don't know everything... but we have learned some pretty good lessons along the way. Here are 5 (erm... 6) things that we do to keep our love alive!
5 Things Strong Couples Do
1: Connect Daily: Take some time each day to check in with each other. Even if one of us is traveling we text, call, or email each day to stay in tune with one another. If we are in person, sometimes our connection is both physical and emotional. One of my favorite things in the world is a nice 5 minutes hug, This connection each day helps us to be in tune with each each other, and to remind ourselves how much we care about one another.
2: Put their partner first.: This is relationship 101, but is HARD to put into practice. We know it, we are right there with you. Something that we’ve come to realize is that often our first thought might be only for ourselves, but what really matters is what we actually do. If your first instinct is to eat the bigger half of the last slice of pizza you are not a monster. If you let your partner have the bigger half, you are practicing putting them first.
3: Are independently united: We are SO different Todd wants to watch sports, Alaina wants to go to the theater, Alaina is social, Todd, not so much. How can we still love and support each other? We have the same end goal(s) in mind. We stand hand in hand (neither one in front of the other) facing the direction of our goals and our dreams. This is not a perfect science, and is often tweaked when life happens, or goals and plans have to be adjusted, but we do it all together while still being Todd and Alaina independently united.
4: Talk openly about sex and intimacy: Can I be frank? You should probably not be having sex if you cannot have an honest conversation about it… These conversations can be to set up rules or boundaries, talk about likes and dislikes, when and where, etc. etc. We consider sex and intimacy to be two different things. It’s possible to have sex without any intimacy and it’s possible to have intimacy without any sex. BOTH men and women need healthy doses of each in a relationship. Being open and honest about your emotional and physical needs in a relationship is crucial, not just for the health of your relationship, but your health as well!
5: Work on their health and wellness: If we are suffering from fatigue, stress, and general dis-ease it is hard to be our best selves. This is why we believe so strongly that one of the components of a healthy relationship is that each partner is working on their own health and well being. This is going to look different in each relationship and for each partner, but some places to start are, eating vegetables at every meal, going for a walk several times a week, meditating or working on other mindfulness practices, and focusing on what really matters. 6 packs are great, but even better is living free of pain and disease.
Bonus: Practice non-sexually intimacy: I hinted to this above. Non-sexual touch is something that has been almost banished from our society. It’s like we’ve forgotten how to do it. Here are some ways we can practice non-sexual intimacy, holding hands, hugging, kissing, gazing into each other’s eyes, slow dancing, talking about dreams and goals, and really listening to one another, hand and foot massages. Simply taking the opportunity to let your partner know how much they mean to you, with no expectations, is practicing non-sexual intimacy. This will change your life and greatly impact your other relationships as well!
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